Sunday, December 18, 2005

Some Answers

In my opinion, Rick's romantic relationship with Gina certainly explained much of his behavior during the months of October, November and December. I believe it explained why he called me early one Saturday morning from California to tell me that he had not been able to get on the flight home to Raleigh the evening before even though we had spoken to each other just hours before the flight was to take off. Rick had business in California and stayed an extra day to take his daughter to see a college in the Bay Area. She was a senior in high school and was continuing to look at colleges and universities. Rick called me from the airport after he put her on her plane home. He said he was just waiting around for the red-eye. He would be home early Saturday morning. When I awoke on Saturday, there was a message on my machine from Rick telling me that he had started to feel sick at the airport so he checked back into a hotel and was catching a flight on Saturday morning. He wouldn't be home until around 5PM on Saturday. It seemed strange but it could happen. Turns out that Rick did take the late Friday flight and went to Gina's house from the airport on Saturday morning. He spent the day with her and arrived home when he said he would.

In my opinion, his relationship with Gina may have explained why he was so aloof that Thanksgiving. It may have also explained why I couldn't reach him one Saturday morning in December at 6:45AM. I was over in Charlotte working that day. I called Rick as soon as I awoke just like I always did. Nobody answered so I tried his cell phone. No answer. I kept trying every fifteen minutes. I soon started to worry. Rick finally returned my calls and told me that he had slept in and jumped in the shower right after he got out of bed. It seemed strange because Rick was an early riser and always had coffee and read the paper before showering. But, again, I trusted him. He called me from his cell phone on the way to get his haircut. He said he was looking forward to seeing me that eveing; he wanted to know if he could make anything special for dinner for me. I told him that I probably wouldn't be home until later that evening. When I did arrive home, Rick didn't seem that thrilled to see me.

Then there were all the weekends in December 2001 when he told me that he was staying in a hotel in Cary, thinking about our relationship. The evening of his company Christmas party, he told me he wanted to go by himself and packed his suitcase before he left. When I asked him why he was going to stay overnight in a hotel, he told me that he would be drinking and did not want to drive home. When I called the hotel where he told me he was staying the next morning, there was no such person staying there.

In my opinion, Gina's presence in my marriage could have explained what happened to the jewelry that arrived the Saturday before Christmas. Just days before, Rick called me and told me that he really wanted our marriage to work, that he would go to counseling if that would help. He told me that he loved me and came back home after staying away for three weeks. I was relieved. Rick was off getting his haircut, my Mom and Dad had gone off somewhere so I answered the door when the bell rang. It was the UPS man with a box from the Union Street Goldsmiths. That was a small jewelry store on my favorite street in San Francisco. Rick had showered me with lots of expensive jewlery while we were married, most of it from that store. He even had a salesperson there that helped him with selections. When the box arrived, I thought it was sort of strange because we had all agreed that year to not exchange big gifts but instead make a contribution to the 9/11 fund. That catastrophic event had only occurred months before and I was the one that suggested the contribution. Rick thought it was a good idea. Christmas day came and went and I never received anything from Rick. Turns out that Rick had telephoned his salesperson at the jewlery store and asked her to select something for me. She did and shipped it to him. The earrings were selected for me but I never received them.

And then there was the day after Christmas. While I was downstairs with my family, Rick was upstairs ordering flowers for Gina over the internet. The card read 'don't give up on me, love Rick'. Later that evening, as we were sharing dessert with friends, Rick was talking about relationships and announced that he thought that everyone should be given the opportunity to opt out of their marriage every five years without penalties. Rick and I had just celebrated our five year anniversary in September!

Gina must have felt like such a lucky woman after her relationship with Rick began. It's exactly the way I felt when my relationship with Rick began in 1995. Gina received jewelry worth $1500, she was driving a brand new Audi A6 by February after Rick paid off her loan on her old car, she flew to London in March with Rick to enjoy a short vacation. While there, she met Rick's son, a college student living in Europe for the semester. Rick told his son that our marriage had problems and introduced him to his girlfriend. It appears that Rick showered her with affection and gifts just he had done to me. In my opinion, there was a pattern to Rick's romantic behavior. In my opinion, he created a fairytale for Gina just as he had for me when our relationship began.